Broken promises are like broken mirrors – they will make you bleed, and your soul will shatter into a thousand pieces.
I often get the urge to tell people: „Think before you speak.“ Although this might seem impossible to do in every situation, it doesn’t mean that it cannot be learned. It sounds so simple but believe me, it isn’t. But no matter how complicated it is; it can be done. Don’t believe people who keep telling you they “cannot change”.
I am talking about promises and how easy people tend to break their promises, not even realizing how severe the break will fall on the other person.
Many times people who ask us to promise them something are in a very vulnerable state or hurt at that moment, and aren’t realizing that the promises they ask from us are maybe impossible or hard to keep. This is why thinking before we speak is very important. DON’T MAKE PROMISES YOU CANNOT KEEP.
On other occasions, you are the one that wants to give a promise to a person who is hurt because you want to show her/him that you are by her/his side and that they can count on you no matter what.
But what if you fail? How will you live with yourself knowing that you have disappointed a person you care for during their weakest?
How will the person you broke the promise to react?
This is something you should think about before you give away your promise so easily. Think about this very, very carefully and you will see that the consequences of this can be very severe.
If you read the rest of this text, you will see the most common problems of giving promises, breaking them and the consequences coming out of it. You can also read some advice and thoughts which will make you think twice before giving away your promise easily. Been there, done that and it’s not pretty.
– Take your promises very seriously, because the person to whom you promise something takes them way more serious than you ever would.
– Do make an effort in keeping the promise. If you can do something that will help you keep your promise, do it. You must be aware that with a few broken promises you will lose the trust of people you love and care for.
– Watch out for the promises you give to your kids. They are most sensitive to it. Don’t give promises you cannot keep because they will grow up thinking that they can not rely on you and that you don’t love them as much as they love you.
Not keeping promises you made to your kids will only teach them not to trust you, that you don’t respect them or, in the worst possible scenario, that they are not important to you. Think of this in case you keep your promises to other people, but NOT to your children.
-Children who are used to getting their promises broken will eventually become promise breakers. They will follow your steps unaware that they have become the same as you.
– If you break promises to your kids, partners, colleagues, they will all start disrespecting you because IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR WORD WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
– Partners in an intimate relationship must trust each other if they want their relationship to succeed but trust must be earned. A continuous breaking of promises will also break their bond.
– Although most broken promises aren’t intentional, they hurt as badly as though you did it intentionally.
– Even in the most loving relationship, there are some broken promises, but they aren’t of a severe character, and they won’t put the relationship in danger. But they must stay rare.
– You must be responsible and act like an adult when a broken promise happens to you. Apologize for your mistake and the sorrow you caused and be sincere about it. That means that you will do best not to repeat it.
– Don’t agree to anything your partner asks for at that moment just to close the argument. If you are doing so because you want the debate to end this will make more problems than you think. Especially, if you didn’t mean it and you already know which excuses you will say to elaborate why you didn’t keep your promise again.
– If you are a person who has a fear of saying “No” because you are insecure or you fear that someone will dislike you because of it, you will probably feel obligated to keep this promise, and it will become your most significant burden. The result of this is that you will not hold your promise because it is something impossible and you will feel terrible about it like you have failed everyone. Don’t do this to yourself!
These are five things you should be very careful about:
Don’t give promises you cannot keep.
Think about them and give yourself time to see is this even possible for you.
Don’t give promises to humor people just to like you.
Don’t make promises easily.
Don’t use promises to hurt someone.