Jealousy is NOT a sign of love
Although we can often hear that people who are in love with someone usually do stupid things out of jealousy, you must realize this is indeed one of the biggest misconceptions ever.
The reason why so many people believe that jealousy is a sign of love lies in the fact that it is so deeply ingrained in our society that it is taken as truth without any question.
“It’s just the way it is, some things will never change”, says the song.
On the other hand, jealousy often becomes a significant relationship problem, and it is considered that it makes problems in the relationship of every third couple.
What are the real reasons for jealousy and what kind of partner makes an issue with it?
- Partners with low self-esteem are often motivated by strong jealousy; they don’t think they are attractive or smart enough to keep their partners and are afraid of losing them, so they often show resentment
- Partners who are moody by nature are more prone to jealousy than others. They need just a little provocation to change their mood from kind to extremely jealous.
- Possessive partners are the most jealous types of partners, and they can not only ruin the relationship in a few seconds, but they can emotionally and physically hurt their partners.
- Partners who depend on the other side in their relationship; these would do anything to keep their relationship secure because they over-depend on their partner in all areas of life.
- Partners who feel they are not good enough for their partner often have attacks of jealous nature.
- Especially tricky relationships are the ones where partner thinks you don’t love him enough and is frightened continuously that you will leave him; jealousy born from these emotions is often scary because it makes partners act very irrational. This partner continually needs you to confirm him that you won’t leave.
The common factor in all cases as mentioned above is the SELFISHNESS OF PARTNERS.
Their jealousy isn’t really about you; it is always about them.
They need to know you are by their side, that you won’t leave them and that they don’t have to be afraid of your contacts with other people.
Although it is very tiresome to convince someone that he/she doesn’t have to be jealous, it is needed if you want to keep your relationship going.
It is merely because they won’t change. They would need dozens of hours of therapy, but this improvement can be shattered in a minute. So it is not worth it, in my opinion.
If you love your partner dearly, make peace with his/hers jealousy if you can. If you can not cope with it, get from the relationship while it is still young and you will both get over it more natural.
If your partner spies your activity on social media, Facebook or similar, he has reached a point he will never stop snooping on you. He/she doesn’t believe you, and that is that.
The best thing which helps out with jealousy (if jealousy hasn’t reached the point of no return) is good communication between partners.
Explain to your partner that he doesn’t have to fear and talk with him/her about everything. The more pieces of information you share, no matter how trivial, the more he/she will be secure.
If your partner’s jealousy is justified because you have already betrayed trust in the relationship, it is a serious, and mostly you cannot regain their confidence. Then suspicion is sometimes you must either make peace with or end the relationship.