Some people briefly enter our lives, share both good and bad moments with us, and afterward disappear, silently as they came, leaving a huge trace in our hearts.
Sometimes it’s new friends who don’t stay long enough to get to know them better, sometimes it is about partners who broke up too soon, or it is about wise and esteemed people beside whom we felt essential and less uncertain about the important things in life.
But I will not talk about them, I will speak about myself.
About the new Martha who entered my life and changed my vision of me.
I’m here to tell you a story about the new Martha who has taught me to appreciate love above all. About old Martha who took years to look herself in the mirror and sees genuinely who she was.
First Martha, the one I know from my earliest memories, was the one who blindly followed the rules and nodded to everyone around her.
It was Martha who stood up to everyone on the bus, even though her legs were killing, Martha who made cakes everyone loved, but not her favorite, Martha, who had no problem listening to people complaining for hours, apologizing, getting angry at her.
After many years and a lot of effort invested in other people and other creatures, the new Marta rose to the surface. Without notice, no pomp, the new Martha came out started asking questions in my head:
Do you love yourself enough?
Do you have to share all the love with others so that nothing is left to you?
Do you have to be tolerant all the time?
It took a long time for old Martha to realize that the new Martha did not joke and had no intention of giving up because she had a plan:
A plan to allow Martha to fall in love with herself.
Days, weeks, months passed … and the new Martha started to win in every game…
New Martha looked more often in the mirror than usual, and this time she liked what she saw.
New Martha made cakes her family disgusted, but she liked.
New Martha started sharing her thoughts with her family very often – and what do you know, the list of people who called her on everyday basis got shorter.
Because today Martha has an opinion. And shares it.
With a couple of tiny pleasures, little things such as being able to have choices, Martha had a feeling she conquered the world.
Martha started deciding who and when to listen or hear, watch or see, love or not love.
And now she likes herself much more.
Although surrounded with fewer people Martha became her best friend and the teacher.
When you think hard, you will realize there is no new Martha – this is her real face which was hidden away to please everyone.
Everyone has a choice – CHOOSE YOURSELF.
It won’t change you as much as you think. You will still be a kind, generous person who knows how to love.
But this time you will love and be kind to yourself too.
Love yourself first ❤